But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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