Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
