I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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