This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
