He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
