i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
