i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize