She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
