where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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