You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
