I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
