dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize