do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
