Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Randomize
