Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Randomize
