wat bout pragnant strippers??
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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