I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
