i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize