Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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