Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize