I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Randomize