some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
