i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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