This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
