he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
