Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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