I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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