her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
