kristin has been a bad kristin
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
