she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
