And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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