Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
