I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
