she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
