Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize