Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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