Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
