I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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