I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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