arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
