Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize