I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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