you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
