I hate your face
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
