remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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