is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
me + whiskey = a bad person
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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