she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
