The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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