No more Irish car bombs ever.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
