he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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