To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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