She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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