Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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