No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
