I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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