I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
