I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
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