I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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