You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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