Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
