i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
